Robin: Swimming in the Darkness
by CarelessRecklessMe
Summary: Robin can't take it. His life needs to end. When Slade nearly does so, he takes the opportunity to form a new apprentice. What events will ensue? Will Robin survive? Many mentions of self harm, so if that bothers you, click away! Minor RobxRae, RobxStar, BBxRae, and RaexCy Rated T because of minor cursing.


**Hello, lovelies! I don't own anything! Will be mentions of self harm so if that bothers you click away. Please Review! Haters welcome. Come at me!**

**Robin: A Small Bird with the Heart of a Lion**

Robin turned over onto his side, groaning as he put pressure on his right wrist. The clock spelled out three blue numbers. 3:47. He sighed, resigning to the fact he would lay awake for the fifth night in a row. Under his mask, shadowy circles rested under his eyes. He hadn't slept, the echoes of the taunting and reprimanding ricocheting in his mind. It had been years since he had gotten more than three straight days of semi-adequate sleep, and it would be many more. He was completely aware he would get less and less sleep as long as he was a hero. Batman had taught him to never rest, to always keep on his toes. He was a hero after all. Lives depended on him. It was a weight he had to carry, a weight that was weighing him down. Robin rolled onto his back. On the low-lying ceiling were posters, posters with the faces of criminals. Next to the posters were newspaper headlines, all featuring the villains who preyed on Jump City. He analyzed them like he did every morning. They were his source of perseverance and determination. His body fell limp, dead weight. Though his arm felt increasingly heavy, he managed to reach up and peel of his masK; the barrier of his innocence. His baby blues focused on the images on the ceiling, hatred and self-dissapointment bubbling up in his stomach, a vicious snake uncoiling. He calmed himself enough to flop over and stand, his bare feet coming into contact with the hard ground. This was one of the times Robin wished he had slippers, something he felt were ridiculous. Shoes for cold feet? That was what socks were for. He decided today wasn't a uniform day. Every villain, except Slade, was locked up in Jump City Jail. He tossed on a black t-shirt, and navy cargo shorts. He slipped socks onto his feet, combed and gelled his hair, brushed his teeth, and looked him self over in the mirror.

He looked exhausted. Physically, he was scrawnier than usual, his ribs bumping his skin. He was pale, and the shady circles under his eyes peeked out from under his mask. Then, there were the bandages. From the past night where he shamefully took a blade to himself, singing the song the Joker sang when he had tortured him. _"A little cut here, a little cut there. No one will see, no one will care." _He knew he couldn't show his team these cuts, so he pulled on a navy flannel shirt over his t-shirt. He was cold anyway. He was always cold. Sighing, he headed for the main room.

"Couldn't sleep?" Raven appeared so suddenly Robin jumped. Raven frowned. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"That's okay. And yeah." Robin replied hastily. _Oh, god. I hope to Gotham this shirt hides the scars. _He thought, stumbling over to the couch.

"What scars?" Raven inquired, going to the kitchen for some tea. He was obviously tired, because she could dive into his mind like a swimming pool. She read his thoughts, sensing tiredness, anxiety, and a hint of sadness. _ What's that all about? _She wondered curiously.

"Oh, old ones." _Damn her, being an empath! _

"I don't think so." She placed her mug on the counter, and cocked her head at Robin. She attempted to read his thoughts but all she got was a loud buzzing.

Robin winced. Another migraine was coming on. "Robin?" She asked, as he fell forward. She caught him in a tendril of ebony magic, leaning him back on the couch. Raven pressed the back of her hand to the young teen'a forehead. Robin was undeniably sick. She pulled her communicator out of her pocket, sending an emergency signal to Cyborg there was an emergency. "Oh god, I hope you're okay." She muttered.

* * *

Cyborg lazily reached for his communicator on his *"bed" side table. If there was a villain attacking Jump at 4 a.m. there was going to be a problem.

"Emergency in the main room?" He wondered aloud. There were no sirens, so there was no attacker. He would have dismissed it as a prank from BB, or a simple mishap like being out of mustard by Star, but no. This was from Raven. This had to be serious. He got up. Hurrying off. If anything was truly wrong, sleep would have to wait.

He strode into the main room to Raven pressing an ice pack against Robin's forehead.

"What's wrong Rae?" He asked, kneeling next to her.

"He just passed out. I know I'm not supposed to read his mind but I sensed trouble. He had a migraine and then just, kinda collapsed." She looked at Cyborg, who was scanning Robin.

"102 degree fever. Hell, we've got to get him to the medical bay." Cyborg picked him up as if he were light as a rag doll and carried him off, Raven in pursuit.

* * *

Raven overlooked the small teen on the bed. Shirtless she saw it. He was skinny, too skinny. He lost any fat and muscle he had. He was tired, emotionally and physically. As for the scars, there were bandaged cuts on his wrists. The exhaustion, sadness, and anxiety- Robin was deep in depression. Cyborg had suppressed the latest migraine, and the two kept good watch over him. Star and Beast Boy were still in bed, unknowing that their leader was sick. The other two found no reason to wake them and let them get in the way.

"Depression." Raven stated. Cyborg nodded, running a mechanical hand over his face.

"Yep. And he apparently hasn't had a full eight straight hours of sleep in seven years." Raven froze. Seven years- the year his parents died. "Rae?" She shook her head clearing her thoughts.

"Hold him down." She demanded, earning an inquisitive glance from Cyborg. "Hold him down. He's about to have a nightmare!" Raven cried, and Cyborg obeyed. Moments later, the ebony haired boy began thrashing in his bed. Cyborg's firm hands held him safely though, and the boy soon calmed down. She hated reading his mind; they'd made a deal that they would give each other space, but she knew she had to keep close watch on him if he were depressed.

"Crap." Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm starving."

"Go get us something to eat. I'll watch the kid."

"Okay." Cyborg turned to her. "Is he gonna keep having nightmares?" He inquired.

"If his depression is as bad as it seems, yeah." Raven shrugged.

"Damnit. Why does the boy have to be such a brat." Raven smirked.

"He did learn from the biggest brat of all." Raven commented, getting a slight laugh out of Cyborg.

"Herbal tea and an apple?" He asked. Raven nodded.

"Thanks Cy, tell the others Robin went out on a secret mission. We don't need any interference." Cyborg nodded.

"Later Rae."

"Later Cy."

"Later Robin."

"Let's hope..."

**I hope you liked. For this story I am assuming many more chapters. I've got a really good plot for this one. By the way, the "Bed" meant, Cyborg's bed really isn't a bed. It's a metal table. Also, later in the story Beast Boy will be referred to as BB on general terms. **

**Love you all and keep checking for updates!**

**P.S. The spellcheck on this thing is jacked up. It kept telling me tired wasn't a word and it should be tried! WTF?**


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